a journey in motherhood

God is gracious and on the day we celebrate Jesus’ resurrection to life He brought my baby girl into the world. A special day for many reasons. April 8 was actually the due date of my very first pregnancy that I miscarried in 2003. It also was nice because our family is full of April birthdays, but the 8th was not taken, so she got her own day. Not only did God answer my prayer to bring her on Easter (I really did ask Him for that) he answered all our prayers about her birth and the recovery above all our expectations!

 

Ever since my son’s birth almost two years ago I had been thinking and preparing for this day. As an aspiring doula, natural birth is my passion; and while my son’s birth was unmedicated it felt less than “natural” - with an AROM induction at 41weeks followed by continuous monitoring due to decels in the FHR, stuck in bed, almost emergency c-section – vaginal delivery on the operating table with an episiotomy & vacuum. Followed by a rough recovery of severe anemia and passing out.

This time we were at Kaiser Permanente & were happy to know we had a good chance of having a midwife deliver, though I did try to convince my husband for a birth center or home birth. Kaiser was superb and I’d go back!

At my 39week apt I was dilated to 4-5cm, my midwife told me I should go right in to the hospital as soon as I felt something b/c of how low the baby was it would probably go quickly. Saturday night I went to bed after having contracted on & off all day long. Sunday morning at 3:00 I woke up with two rather painful contractions & after going to the bathroom I started shivering & couldn’t stop & began to feel nauseous. I called L&D and they said to come in to see what was going on. My contractions continued and we called & woke up my Father-in-law to come over to the house and stay with Elliot & we picked up my mom on the way to the hospital - no traffic that early! My contrax were about 5-7 minutes apart and the shivering finally stopped. We arrived in triage around 5:00 a.m. & I was 4cm dilated – but could stretch to 6cm. The midwife said I had a “floppy” cervix that was ready to have a baby. We were admitted and for the next several hours I had the pleasure of laboring with intermittent monitoring while being allowed to walk & move. I spent most of my time doing laps in the vacant hallway or on the toilet to help contrax come regularly. For the most part I wanted to be alone to walk & labor – I was in “job” mode and not interested in physical support – but was glad to have my husband and mom available if I needed them. I used other positions like slow dancing w/ DH and squatting to handle the pain. While walking I found that it was less painful to continue walking through a contraction than to stop and absorb it. Even though they were painful I was able to rejoice that I was in labor on my own and was really excited inside at the chance to do things I had practiced and prepared for. The staff was incredibly accepting of our birth plan. The goodie bags we provided them all were a big hit (coincidentally I’d brought them in an Easter Basket). At 12:30 the midwife came in to see how things were going. Every time I laid down for monitoring my contrax would slow down and they didn’t seem to be increasing in intensity or frequency – though clearly moving the baby down, because while I was only dilated to 5cm, I was 90% effaced and she was at a +1 station. We discussed the situation with Linda, our midwife and we decided to have her break my water, knowing that was probably all it would take to get things really going. So at 12:45 she did the amniotomy and jokingly told me she’d be back at 3:00pm to deliver the baby. Elizabeth arrived an hour earlier than that. In the next hour and 15 minutes things really picked up. Immediately the contractions changed in intensity, and were coming every two minutes or closer. I spent a while on the toilet where I was most comfortable, and was able to handle them by having silence and breathing deeply and visualization. They let me sit next to the bed for a while, but were having trouble picking up the FHR so I moved to the bed. It was a good thing too, because shortly after that I had two contractions that were painful enough for me to vocalize my pain through low groaning & blowing through my lips. During this time my mom was rubbing my feet and Charlie was rubbing my back & neck and it really helped me through the most painful time. The next thing I knew I felt her head slip through my cervix into the canal. I told Charlie & my mom to get the midwife NOW and tried to use the call button, but it was broken. My mom ran down the hall to get help. As soon as my nurse and MW rushed in Elizabeth’s head was born, no time for gloves, her body slid out right then and they picked her up and laid her on my chest. It was an incredible feeling, feeling her come out of me so fast and fluidly was a beautiful relief. I had known from reading beforehand not to push when babies are coming out fast and was able to relax my perineum and let her slide through, leaving just a minor tear needing one stitch. The midwife waited and had DH cut the cord after it stopped pulsating – it was special for me to watch since with my first birth I wasn’t able to see that part. Then they left her on me for the next hour. She screamed on her way out and didn’t stop for quite a while – it was the most beautiful sound and sight in the world. She calmed down and nursed for a half hour or so, before I finally gave her up to be cleaned & measured & let daddy have a turn holding her.

Elizabeth Grace was born at 2:00 p.m. Easter Sunday and was 6 lbs 13 oz and 19 ¼ inches long. She’s beautiful and has lots of spirit!

I’m not ashamed to say how proud I was that I was able to handle the pain right through to the end. I never hit that point where I felt lost in the pain, out of control, or like I couldn’t do it - all of which I did feel during my first birth. I was always aware and present, and even though the pain was intense, in a way it felt good because I knew my body was performing some of the most important work of its life. This is what I had prepared to do and I did it. I even impressed the L&D staff who said I was the happiest laboring woman they’d ever seen & that everyone had been talking about me. It was nice to give a hospital staff a good impression of natural birthers. It was also great to have them so willing to let us have the birth we wanted.

So far recovery has been a breeze compared to last time. My milk came in within 36 hours, she’s nursing like a champ, I have no anemia and while taking it easy I feel fantastic!