a journey in motherhood

Elliot’s first christmas was nice b/c it was a 1st, but it was stressful as I recall trying to put him down to sleep while he was screaming in my arms, while the Christmas dinner was eaten by everyone but me…I got it cold. I am so glad that was not the case for Libby’s first Christmas. She napped at our place before we headed to the K’s, napped there before we headed to the S’s, and then napped there again. Timing was impecable! If you’ve never mothered a child there’s just no understanding what a feat that was!
On to the day, it was really wonderful, start to finish. The kiddos woke and it’s tradition to open stockings together on our bed. Elliot really enjoyed it this year and it was fun to have him understand and get excited. I got the suprise of the year when i found an ipod at the bottom of my stocking!! Charlie & I had a spending limit and let me tell you it was no where near the cost of an ipod - so it was a total shock. It was really neat b/c it’s pretty much the first present from him I have recieved that was a complete suprise, for some reason my mind usually figures out what is comming - it can’t be helped. but not this year! I loved Elizabeth’s gifts too b/c it was all stuff I NEEDED for her! The big gift of the morning for Elliot was his electric guitar and amp. (Amazon.com said it was for 10-15 yr olds - ha!) He’s quite the little performer now, instructing us to sit and watch him while he jams for us. Fortunetly for now it’s still cute, we’ll have to work on not showing off as he gets a little older. Libby darlin’ got mostly clothes but a few musical toys herself. However she’s wearing 18 month clothing so who knows, she may be her daddy’s basketball player!
From home we went to the IL’s & celebrated with them & had a yummy breakfast. We all got some great stuff, the funniest was Elliot’s tool box that Grandpa had written his name on - except he’d forgotten to put one letter of his last name - which is his own last name.
Next we went to my parents home to celebrate some more. We’d had Christmas Eve dinner there the night before w/ my brothers so gifts had been opened, but with my grandparents and aunt there it was very special celebrating again - and without gifts there was an even bigger emphasis on the greater meaning of Christmas. We had a time of reading Bible verses that shared of all the gifts God gives us, and I played the song “I have seen the Light” which brings me to tears every time i hear it, it’s so emotional.
We were home & the kids were in bed before 7:00 and I spent the rest of the night figuring out itunes and for not being that “into music” I sure have a lot I like. The soundtrack to “Wicked” has been my favorite purchase so far!

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Tonight we visited Bethlehem. For a few weeks now we’ve been sharing the story of Christ’s birth with Elliot. We purchased a Little People Nativity that he can play with, moving the characters along as we all tell the story. What happens on Christmas? “baby Jesus born” who is Jesus? “God’s Son” It’s been a privilege to share the miracle of God becoming man with my son. It’s an amazing time in his life as he is beginning to understand more complex concepts and articulate them. It’s inspiring to my own faith to see “childlike faith” in my son begin to emerge. Tonight we visited a church nearby, where they transformed their campus in to Bethlehem. We began by being escourted into King Herod’s courtyard, then into the streets of bethlehem where there were merchants, beggars, and livestock. Then we traveled to the countryside and saw the shepherds, then an angel apeared and we followed the shepherds to the scene at the stable and finally we heard from the wisemen. For Elliot it was all very real, right now in many ways what he saw tonight in his mind was the real thing. He spent much of the evening with his jaw dropped and eyes wide open staring at what he was seeing and hearing. The church had done a beautiful job at presenting a very real replica, down to actual opportunities to make clay pots and taste foods in the “marketplace.” Even the baby “Jesus” was a real little baby. The responsibility of teaching my children the truth about God is serious, and it is in my prayers often. The side effect is a deepening of my own faith, the time I spend reflecting on the truths that I instill in my children blesses my soul too.

 

My dear friend took all these and many more for us as options for our announcement. They were all so beautiful I wish I could’ve used them all. And I love the candid of big brother w/ his sis, lol! thanks Adri!

 

It’s definetly a little crazy around here much of the time now with two of them. There are times when Libby is screaming and I HAVE to change ELliot’s diaper so I can’t do anything for her right away. There have been several incidents of pee, spit up, and poop that have landed places other than where they are supposed to go….the house gets rather disastrous and I’m not as on time to things as I usually am, and Elliot hurt his ankle so for a whole day I had 2 children that couldnt’ walk…but I’m having a blast and just going with the flow - not really letting it get to me.

Libby is all better from her cold. Praise God she didn’t get a  fever b/c it wouldve meant lots of unessesary testing.

I’m having so much fun wearing her in my slings & wraps…especially b/c people everywhere comment on them and I am constantly giving out information on them so I hope to see many more moms wearing babies around here.

I wish I could share more but I’ve got to go be w/ my kids.

 

I knew things were going a little too smoothly….

 

Libby has caught my awful cold and it’s so sad to hear a little baby cough and sneeze. Please pray she doesn’t get a fever b/c if she does it could be very serious & the Dr.s will be forced to do lots of tests on her. Please pray.

 

well we’re still doing well. Charlie has had to go to work a lot due to housing sign-ups so I’ve had the wonderful support and help of my mom. I’ve also been blessed with lots of dinners being provided by my MOMS club, Mom2Mom and Church. We’ve been getting out quite a bit, today we took her to church and a HUB picnic afterwards. I’m loving wearing her in my slings. The Wrap is great for outings and it’s convenient to put her in the hotsling for working around the house. Elliot is responding very well to the baby. He’s watched us with her and loves to have a chance to hold her, rock her and sing to her himself. He’s a very sweet big brother who is learning to be gentle! Charlie and I are adjusting to the new routines that having 2 brings. So far it’s been pretty smooth, most nights I’m able to participate in Elliot’s bedtime and Charlie’s having to work a little harder now by doing more of Elliot’s stuff, and it’s neat to see daddy & Elliot bond as “the boys”

I got to have her weighed on Friday and she was 7lb 5oz! She had been 6lb 8oz when we left the hospital so she’s already gained almost a whole pound, which is really great. It’s amazing to see her little thighs thicken practically from diaper change to diaper change! She’s sleeping pretty well also. I keep her next to me most of the night as it’s the most convenient way to feed her and we all get the most rest. She’s getting used to sleeping in lots of places, her cradle, the swing, the slings, the car, and her bouncy seat. I love this portable age where she sleeps anywere & through any noise. It’ll be a few months before we fall into some routine naps at home - until then we’ll be going out a lot. I’m just not a homebody. She’s also nursing well and I’m LOVING the bras & nursing tops I got from Target!

I think I’m still on a high from the birth. I’m actually sad sometimes when I realize it’s over and it will be a while before I can do it again. I had just put so much thought and preparation and hope and prayer into it and it was so perfect that it’s a little sad to see it over. But I’m so grateful to God for answering all my prayers about it. I’m also grateful that by becoming a Doula I’ll be able to participate in childbirth alot - without having to do it myself all the time! I go for my training in June and I can’t wait!

First Bath:

we’re home and getting adjusted. Things are going pretty well, it’s hard not to do too much, but I’m resting and taking it easy. We had a nice quick trip to the park today & I got to wear libby in my wrap & Elliot had fun playing w/ daddy. had to share some more pics…

 

God is gracious and on the day we celebrate Jesus’ resurrection to life He brought my baby girl into the world. A special day for many reasons. April 8 was actually the due date of my very first pregnancy that I miscarried in 2003. It also was nice because our family is full of April birthdays, but the 8th was not taken, so she got her own day. Not only did God answer my prayer to bring her on Easter (I really did ask Him for that) he answered all our prayers about her birth and the recovery above all our expectations!

 

Ever since my son’s birth almost two years ago I had been thinking and preparing for this day. As an aspiring doula, natural birth is my passion; and while my son’s birth was unmedicated it felt less than “natural” - with an AROM induction at 41weeks followed by continuous monitoring due to decels in the FHR, stuck in bed, almost emergency c-section – vaginal delivery on the operating table with an episiotomy & vacuum. Followed by a rough recovery of severe anemia and passing out.

This time we were at Kaiser Permanente & were happy to know we had a good chance of having a midwife deliver, though I did try to convince my husband for a birth center or home birth. Kaiser was superb and I’d go back!

At my 39week apt I was dilated to 4-5cm, my midwife told me I should go right in to the hospital as soon as I felt something b/c of how low the baby was it would probably go quickly. Saturday night I went to bed after having contracted on & off all day long. Sunday morning at 3:00 I woke up with two rather painful contractions & after going to the bathroom I started shivering & couldn’t stop & began to feel nauseous. I called L&D and they said to come in to see what was going on. My contractions continued and we called & woke up my Father-in-law to come over to the house and stay with Elliot & we picked up my mom on the way to the hospital - no traffic that early! My contrax were about 5-7 minutes apart and the shivering finally stopped. We arrived in triage around 5:00 a.m. & I was 4cm dilated – but could stretch to 6cm. The midwife said I had a “floppy” cervix that was ready to have a baby. We were admitted and for the next several hours I had the pleasure of laboring with intermittent monitoring while being allowed to walk & move. I spent most of my time doing laps in the vacant hallway or on the toilet to help contrax come regularly. For the most part I wanted to be alone to walk & labor – I was in “job” mode and not interested in physical support – but was glad to have my husband and mom available if I needed them. I used other positions like slow dancing w/ DH and squatting to handle the pain. While walking I found that it was less painful to continue walking through a contraction than to stop and absorb it. Even though they were painful I was able to rejoice that I was in labor on my own and was really excited inside at the chance to do things I had practiced and prepared for. The staff was incredibly accepting of our birth plan. The goodie bags we provided them all were a big hit (coincidentally I’d brought them in an Easter Basket). At 12:30 the midwife came in to see how things were going. Every time I laid down for monitoring my contrax would slow down and they didn’t seem to be increasing in intensity or frequency – though clearly moving the baby down, because while I was only dilated to 5cm, I was 90% effaced and she was at a +1 station. We discussed the situation with Linda, our midwife and we decided to have her break my water, knowing that was probably all it would take to get things really going. So at 12:45 she did the amniotomy and jokingly told me she’d be back at 3:00pm to deliver the baby. Elizabeth arrived an hour earlier than that. In the next hour and 15 minutes things really picked up. Immediately the contractions changed in intensity, and were coming every two minutes or closer. I spent a while on the toilet where I was most comfortable, and was able to handle them by having silence and breathing deeply and visualization. They let me sit next to the bed for a while, but were having trouble picking up the FHR so I moved to the bed. It was a good thing too, because shortly after that I had two contractions that were painful enough for me to vocalize my pain through low groaning & blowing through my lips. During this time my mom was rubbing my feet and Charlie was rubbing my back & neck and it really helped me through the most painful time. The next thing I knew I felt her head slip through my cervix into the canal. I told Charlie & my mom to get the midwife NOW and tried to use the call button, but it was broken. My mom ran down the hall to get help. As soon as my nurse and MW rushed in Elizabeth’s head was born, no time for gloves, her body slid out right then and they picked her up and laid her on my chest. It was an incredible feeling, feeling her come out of me so fast and fluidly was a beautiful relief. I had known from reading beforehand not to push when babies are coming out fast and was able to relax my perineum and let her slide through, leaving just a minor tear needing one stitch. The midwife waited and had DH cut the cord after it stopped pulsating – it was special for me to watch since with my first birth I wasn’t able to see that part. Then they left her on me for the next hour. She screamed on her way out and didn’t stop for quite a while – it was the most beautiful sound and sight in the world. She calmed down and nursed for a half hour or so, before I finally gave her up to be cleaned & measured & let daddy have a turn holding her.

Elizabeth Grace was born at 2:00 p.m. Easter Sunday and was 6 lbs 13 oz and 19 ¼ inches long. She’s beautiful and has lots of spirit!

I’m not ashamed to say how proud I was that I was able to handle the pain right through to the end. I never hit that point where I felt lost in the pain, out of control, or like I couldn’t do it - all of which I did feel during my first birth. I was always aware and present, and even though the pain was intense, in a way it felt good because I knew my body was performing some of the most important work of its life. This is what I had prepared to do and I did it. I even impressed the L&D staff who said I was the happiest laboring woman they’d ever seen & that everyone had been talking about me. It was nice to give a hospital staff a good impression of natural birthers. It was also great to have them so willing to let us have the birth we wanted.

So far recovery has been a breeze compared to last time. My milk came in within 36 hours, she’s nursing like a champ, I have no anemia and while taking it easy I feel fantastic!

Remember this one? My SIL is so talented….we had fun painting a bigger belly this go around!

 

then again, sometimes people can go around dilated for weeks. Yep, I’m 5cm dilated & no labor in sight. My friend took these beautiful pics for us I had to share…